I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
