pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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