idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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