Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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