So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I have already put on my inside pants.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Randomize
