My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
