K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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