yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize