I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
