his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
