I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
