erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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