Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
