i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
