I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
