Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize