I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
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