Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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