he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just want nice things and good sex
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
