Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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