They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
