Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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