she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize