You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
