hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize
