did you get engaged???
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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