Is it because I queefed?
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
