We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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