It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Randomize
