ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
