and i looked up. we had an audience...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
