oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
