from now on my penis is your penis
dude i'm inner monologue high
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He felt like a one man threesome
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
