I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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