if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
