in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Randomize
