I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
