How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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