She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
