Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
