wat bout pragnant strippers??
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
