apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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