We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
