and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
