Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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