we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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