I want to stick my p in your. b.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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