I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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