There is no way he is gay with that hair.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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