Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
