bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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