They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
