What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
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