I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
