Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
