We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
