similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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