I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
PANTIES FOUND
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