The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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