Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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