I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
