brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Randomize
