Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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